Death is A Relative Thing by Holly Patrone
Paperback, 194 pages TAG Publishing
*I was given a copy of this book for review. The opinions expressed are my true feelings. No compensation for this review was received*
April Serao's love life is much like a desert, dry, dusty and a little cracked. Six years ago, her husband Sal died while having sex.
That was bad, but he was with her, so it could have been worse, however he hadn't finished renovating the kitchen, so it really could have been better. Now April's raising their three sons alone.
Word got around about how Sal met his unfortunate demise which has earned April a "killer good" reputation. Because of it, most men put a considerable amount of distance between her and them.
Her mother Marie takes April to see a local celebrity psychic, convinced Sal will talk to them. April knows Sal hasn't held up his end of a conversation in a long time but goes anyway because her mother is wiry tough, sports Cherry Cola #17 red hair and is a force to be reckoned with. She's also a "Sicilian Guilt Trip" ninja, and April knows she won't win the battle.
April works as a Technical Support Engineer at a company called Tin Cup Software. Her co workers and occasional partners in crime are Rob and Marley. Rob has a hologram perfect family and Marley passes the time by tweezing chin hairs while talking to customers.
She lives with a large multicolored parrot named Rodney that she believes is going through teenage angst.
An out of state business associate asks April on her first date since Sal's death and she soon finds herself struggling to balance her past, her children and friends and the possibility of new love. Her life, further complicated by a dead musician, a little latex and a few bad guys becomes a rollicking laugh out loud read that you won't want to miss.
That was bad, but he was with her, so it could have been worse, however he hadn't finished renovating the kitchen, so it really could have been better. Now April's raising their three sons alone.
Word got around about how Sal met his unfortunate demise which has earned April a "killer good" reputation. Because of it, most men put a considerable amount of distance between her and them.
Her mother Marie takes April to see a local celebrity psychic, convinced Sal will talk to them. April knows Sal hasn't held up his end of a conversation in a long time but goes anyway because her mother is wiry tough, sports Cherry Cola #17 red hair and is a force to be reckoned with. She's also a "Sicilian Guilt Trip" ninja, and April knows she won't win the battle.
April works as a Technical Support Engineer at a company called Tin Cup Software. Her co workers and occasional partners in crime are Rob and Marley. Rob has a hologram perfect family and Marley passes the time by tweezing chin hairs while talking to customers.
She lives with a large multicolored parrot named Rodney that she believes is going through teenage angst.
An out of state business associate asks April on her first date since Sal's death and she soon finds herself struggling to balance her past, her children and friends and the possibility of new love. Her life, further complicated by a dead musician, a little latex and a few bad guys becomes a rollicking laugh out loud read that you won't want to miss.
My review:
I was disappointed. Disappointed this book ended and there was no sequel for me! I had so much fun reading this book. When I started reading the book I had no intention of really sitting down and reading at that moment. Mostly because I was doing other things. However once I began I could not stop until I got to the end. The plot was interesting, funny, and snarky. I love this author's sense of humor! The characters were everyday people who were delightful to be around. I wanted to read more about April, her sons, her mother and the 2 men in her life, (one live and one dead). Holly Patrone has written a captivating and hilarious book. I found it highly entertaining and cannot wait for more from her.
Excerpts:
My husband Sal died six years ago while engaged in sex, which, as an aside, was part of my fortieth birthday present. The good news is that he was having sex with me, we both managed to finish the job before he checked out, and I didn’t have to fight for custody of the kids. The bad news? Well, besides the fact that he was no help around the house, we got along well and truly liked each other, which is more than you can say for most married people. It took a long time for me and the boys to work through his death, but we’ve done ok.
Of course, people do talk and word got around about how Sal met his unfortunate demise, so dating has been on the slow side. Actually, it’s been nonexistent. Men make sure they put physical distance between me and them as if WHAM! they’ll have an orgasm right on the spot and keel over if they are within five feet of me.
Kindle Locations 13-20
Our food came, which was a good thing because conversation is allowed to stop, or at least slow down, to allow for chewing. I mean, who wants to be seen talking with a wad of flounder in her mouth? It gave me a few minutes to think. What was happening here? Why did I think I was hearing Sal? Again, I am a little paranoid and a little more than neurotic, so I was beginning to worry that some of the more creative drugs I had taken in the Seventies were doing some dance in my system and I was experiencing a flashback. I hoped this wasn’t the case because the last time I did anything psychedelic I stripped naked and streaked the upstate campus of New Paltz College in broad daylight through two dorms, a jam-packed gymnasium, and the campus food court at high noon. A repeat of that deed with my current body would be a highly regrettable act.
“Hey, April, we need to talk.”
“Huh?” I said to Jack.
“I didn’t say anything.” Ewwww, a food wad.
“April look, I need your help. Can you get rid of the yahoo over there so we can talk?”
I punched myself again. Jack was beginning to look a bit alarmed so I felt he was owed an explanation. In this case, I thought a fake one would be preferable to the truth, which was that I seemed to be holding a conversation with my dead husband.
Kindle Locations 532-544
About the Author:
International prizewinning author, Holly Patrone, won her first fiction award in the fourth grade. She lives on the eastern end of Long Island with her husband, the two youngest of her five children and three Boston Terriers. Holly’s convinced the dogs love her best because they jump up and down for ten minutes when she comes home. Everyone else just wants dinner. She eats dark chocolate and shrimp though usually not at the same time. Mostly she writes.
For more on Holly Patrone please visit her at:
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